#3 Academics

Posted February 15th, 2008 by Peter · 7 Comments

Asian kids are always pressured to do well in School. This means not only doing better than their Asian peers, but kids twice their age. All asian kids will do one of the following: 1) Play an instrument: Be it piano, guitar, or violin (strongly preferred). 2) Study math at an accelerated rate: Asian kids are supposed to take Calculus as middle schoolers. It’s their right! 3) Participate in extracurricular activities:I heard that Jamar was president of Key Club, Student Alliance, Future Doctors of America! You lead a club and you too will make me proud!

parentsThings like this obviously leave no time for asian kids to be normal. There is little time for sleep, let alone hang out. “Dating isn’t mentioned in the Asian household, and girls only come up as a topic of discussion if they’re horrifically smart and if your parents want to compare you to them. If dating is allowed, of course, the girlfriend must be Asian and must be smart.” -Bitter Asian Men

When all is said and done, however, Asian kids do succeed. They become dentists, pharmacists, doctors. Most importantly, all those inherited traits are paid back to their parents in the form of a nice home and high salary that they can brag about to their salon friends. Asians never put their parents into nursing homes due to the fact that they inherit all their brains from their parents and grandparents. To simply state it: They love their parents a lot. Why wouldn’t they? If you wish you could do the Asian thing, click here.

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