#40 White Girls

March 20, 2008 · 1 Comment
Posted March 19th, 2008 by Peter · 5 Comments

Peter says:


Before we begin, if you haven’t read the overarching Post #26, check it out before reading this post or any posts for that matter. Then you’ll get why this whole white guys, white girls, white people business. Thanks! Now on with the talk: Asian guys love girls. Sure, there are plenty of asian girls to go around, but in recent years, a threatening epidemic has raged throughout suburban areas all over the United States.

leftHave you ever wondered why asian girls can date white guys, but it’s rare to see an asian guy with a white girl? This isn’t because asian guys are not attracted to white girls. On the contrary, white girls are many times the secret fantasy of any Twinkie. No, this is not a partially-hydrogenated pastry, but the asian guy who has a bunch of white friends and does the things white guys do. There’s one problem: He’s stuck in an asian body. Twinkies can be compared to a single kitten growing up in the midst of puppies. Twinkies feel like they are puppies because they are enculturated and they like what other puppies like, including the female dogs. Due to this immersion, Asians end up adopting white beauty standards. (but the same isn’t reciprocated by white girls.)

The fact of the matter is that most white girls do not even see asian guys as “dateable.” They would rather ask them for help with math homework, gaming tips, or fashion advice. They wouldn’t ever want an intimate relationship, leaving one lingering question: What causes this white obsession?

The media has a greater influence on asians than they want to admit. The minute asians turn on the tube, out pops all they need to know about being “hot,” “cool,” and “hip.” They also find considerable beauty in large eyes, a thinner pointed nose, a longer face, and fair skin. An increasing amount of asian pop stars are even having surgery to look more like this. However, these are distinctly Caucasian beauty standards. Why else are white males so exciting?

They’re more exotic and promiscuous. But then again, who says that asian guys aren’t exciting? Who wouldn’t want to have a lobster dinner, talk about current events, AND finish their Advanced Calculus Homework (all the while getting their computer reformatted) during the same date? Asian guys sure know how to live it up!

Asian guys would also love to date a white girl, but can’t. White guys, on the other hand, love to date asian women and can. There are immense differences in preferences and motivation among these genders. When asian guys talk about “Bleach” to white girls, they immediately think “hair product,” before they realize the guy is talking about that book he is reading from right to left (manga). When asian guys talk about meeting after school, it isn’t to make out. It’s to finish up a school project. Asian guys just seem too nerdy.

There is hope: Culture is constantly changing. It still turns heads when we see an asian guy with a white girl, but American-born asian guys just seem a bit more “cool” than they used to be. Movies like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle overturn stereotypes by having asian guys star in stoner films.

What usually happens to asian guys, however, is not that they get white girls, but that their tastes start to change. Though asians’ environments shape early inclinations, their thoughts start to change as they continue to develop as people. Some asians will realize that their love for white girls is only a far-fetched dream during an awkward stage in life. Others will continue their pursuit and ultimately fail, but some will succeed. These asians prove that: Asian Guys most definitely like White Girls.

Written by BananaBoy and Peter.

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